Intro For Dating Site

Hey Em,
You said there are two things that make a good first message: noticing what I have in common with a girl, then starting a conversation about it.
I do that, but I still don’t get many responses. What’s the deal?
Tony
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Great question, Tony! You’re right about the two steps that make a great first message:

The 'about me' section on a dating website is one of the most important pieces that informs the other prospective daters of who you really are. Aside from having a great profile picture, which initially sparks interest, writing an awesome 'about me' section is the best way to attract your ideal match.

1) finding common ground with a girl, then
2) starting a conversation about it.

The key – and the best way to start a conversation – is to ask a question.

Girls love when you ask us questions. It’s flattering that you care what we think, and we like talking about ourselves.

But it can also be more complicated than that. Online dating is a little like gaming. Writing a message and getting a girl to reply is the final battle with the boss. In order to win, you’ll need all the knowledge, strength, and skill you’ve acquired so far.

But you also have one big advantage.

I’ll tell you what a girl’s biggest weakness is. We want you to win the battle.

That’s why we’re here, online dating. Girls get so many bad first messages, we’re dying to get a message so good it knocks us over.

Here’s how to level up with your first message:

1. Focus on quality, not quantity.

Unfortunately, many guys try to message a bunch of girls, instead of just the ones who are the best matches. They don’t take time to write good messages. They’d rather write a lot of messages – and take any response they can get, whether or not the girl is a good fit for him.

Girls see through this. We get so many of those lazy mass-messages that we just ignore them.

If you spend a little more time messaging girls who are a good match for you, you’ll probably find it’s much more productive. Look for girls with common interests, shared beliefs, and similar goals. Those girls are much more likely to respond to you because you are a good fit.

And a girl like that will appreciate that you took the time to read her profile, notice what you have in common, and ask her questions about those things, creating a solid connection.

2. Compliment common interests and personality – not looks.

Girls are tired of getting messages from guys who compliment our looks, but have nothing to say about the rest of our profiles. Those messages are shallow and meaningless – the online equivalent of getting dry-humped by douche bags in a club.

You’re not one of those guys, and you have to show us that.

The best first messages show us that you’re interested in who we are – not what we look like.

Like this first message example:

This is a great message for three reasons:

1) Miles leads with a compliment to my personality, rather than my face. This makes me open to what he’ll say next, because he’s showing me he’s different than those other guys.

2) He asks me a question based on a specific detail in my profile, and follows up with another broader question (bonus!). This is excellent because Miles:

a) proves he read my profile,
b) starts a conversation about stuff we share in common,
c) reinforces further that he’s interested in my thoughts, not just my looks, by asking more about the stuff I’m interested in.

3) Miles shows some of his own personality by asking about my fixer-upper house. I can tell he’s excited about the same stuff I am, which makes me excited to talk to him.

This is fuckin’ gold, Miles!

3. Start a conversation.

This might seem obvious to you and Miles, but so many guys don’t know HOW to do this! They ask really general questions, like, “How’s your weekend going?” or “What’s up?”

These messages are the worst.

While “How are you?” is a question, it doesn’t actually start a conversation. I can reply, “Good. How are you?” but then we’re back where we started. Pointless. I never reply to these messages because they bug the shit out of me.

If you read a girl’s profile and can’t think of a question to ask her based on the information there, don’t message her at all.

A great first message jumps past pointless questions and right into specific questions. The best questions you can ask have “long-game.” That’s why it works so well to ask a girl about something you have in common. When you bring up a topic you both like, you’ll both have lots to say about it, which paves the way for a longer conversation.

For example: say you and a girl are both snowboarders. You could easily lead by asking her the question: “Where’s your favorite spot to snowboard around here?” After she answers that, you’re probably also interested in asking how long she’s been snowboarding, what gear she likes, and if she has any upcoming trips planned.

Because you opened with a topic she’s interested in, too, she’ll probably ask you those questions back – plus more of her own.

That’s a lot to talk about, and that’s long-game.

To achieve this, you have to ask her questions. The questions are the gas. Making a statement, like, “I like snowboarding, too,” doesn’t move the conversation forward.

4. Keep it simple.

As a rule of thumb, ask one or two questions. Some guys make the mistake of firing off a long list of questions about a whole range of topics. This is overwhelming to girls. And it’s time-consuming to answer ten questions!

Stick with one or two low-pressure questions that make it easy for us to respond quickly because we’re interested. Online dating is awesome because a girl’s profile is one big list of conversation topics. Just pick one detail you think is cool, or you’re genuinely curious about, and ask her about it.

This guy does a nice job asking an easy question based on stuff we both like:

This is simple and effective. It works because Scott picked something from my profile that he was truly curious about, explained why he was curious, and therefore established a common interest in cooking. It’s a simple question that doesn’t require a ton of effort for me to respond. Worked on me.

Extra tip: Don’t answer your own questions. When you ask the question and don’t including your own answer, then my next logical step will be to ask you the same question back.

5. Keep it short.

Your first message should make a simple introduction, express your interest in her profile, ask one or two long-game questions about things you share in common, and then simply sign-off with your name. A couple lines, or a paragraph or two is great. When guys write a lot more, they come on too strong.

Leave us wanting more. With your first message, your goal is to make us want to continue talking to you. When we see you’re the kind of guy who makes an effort in a first message, but knows not to go overboard, we’ll be impressed.

Effort + confidence = a guy worth knowing.

Great Intro For Dating Site

6. Re-read what you wrote.

Look for spelling and grammatical errors (these are deal-breakersto some girls). It’ll only take a minute, and you’ll probably notice at least one typo that can be corrected.

And send.

Looking for good online dating profiles to copy? I gotchu, boo, with all the online dating profile inspiration and examples you need.

Here are some great, easy-to-copy dating profile examples & profile photo optimization tips for gents and ladies.

Feel free to mix, match, and edit these dating profile examples as needed to suit your situation.

Dating Profile Example # 1: Three things

An essential rule of thumb when creating your dating profile is to think of yourself as a product.

Intro for dating site examples

What are the best keywords to describe what “you” are, and what you’re into? (Ex: An engineer? A creative? An athlete/fitness enthusiast?)

Second, what is the “consumer” getting if they “buy”? (Ex: Your contagious enthusiasm for life? A good listener? Interesting conversation about books? Boozy campfires? Raucous club outings?)

These dating profile examples show that you don’t need to list everything there is to know about you.

Your bio is just an ad, so you want to pique interest, and leave the meaty getting-to-know-you stuff for chats and dates.

List three interesting things about you (interests, hobbies, goals) to make people curious and want to swipe right to find out more.

Examples

Astrid, 26
Kava enthusiast. Wannabe climber. Roomba owner.

Jesse, 27
Amateur Lego builder. Terrible cook. Aspiring snowboarder.

Dating Profile Example # 2: “Ask me about…”

Brevity is your friend, friend. A concise one-liner comes across as confident and self assured, like you know what you’re about and have nothing to prove.

Use this short and simple “Ask me about…” template to steer your chat convo toward that one weird interest or fun fact about yourself you’re dying to share.

Examples

Taylor, 27
Ask me about my sleight of hand

Jude, 23
Ask me about my cat’s tricks.

Best Intro For Dating Site

Dating Profile Example # 3: Movie quote

Referencing movies or tv shows is a really great way to engage on a dating app. Even though you’re strangers, you’re already connected through this shared social consciousness, so swipers will automatically feel positively towards you.

Sample Intro For Dating Site

Examples

Heather, 22
I’ll have what she’s having
(When Harry Met Sally quote)

Derek, 25
Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
(Ferris Bueller’s Day Off quote)

Dating Profile Example # 4: Greater than/less than

These dating profile examples of the “greater than/less than” template show that you can reveal a lot about your interests and sense of humor without penning a multi-volume autobiography.

Are you always down for a good-natured debate? Rousing convo? This format is a great way to express an unpopular opinion or slightly tease about a topic you know people feel strongly about.

Examples

Claudia, 24
Captain America > Thor

Mark, 26
My Sunday roast > your mom’s Sunday roast

Dating Profile Example # 5: Quirky Interest

Got an unusual interest or passion? Your dating profile is the perfect place to reveal this little-known fact.

Sure, maybe not everyone will love that you keep track of your Minecraft progress in a spreadsheet or secretly take salsa lessons, but the people who do respond are already really going to be picking up what you’re putting down.

There’s no sense in hiding your quirkiness or nerdom. You may as well focus on attracting those who will jive with you than going for worldwide mass appeal.

Intro For Dating Site

Examples

Ferrin, 25
My labelmaker is the single best purchase of my 20s so far.

Rory, 29
I may or may not use the Dewey Decimal System for my home library.

Even the best bio won’t make up for unattractive pics 😕

If your pics don’t look good, your dating profile doesn’t stand a chance at getting much notice, unfortunately.

Pro tip: Before you start swiping, run your dating profile pics through Photofeeler to see how women or men are responding to them.

Choosing your profile pics this way has been shown to significantly increase match rates and match quality.

Go to Photofeeler.com now and give it a try!