Grouper Dating App

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Meeting your match in real life or online is so 2012. If you’re not addicted to Tinder, Fancied or soon-to-launch in Australia, Grouper, chances are you’re not Gen X & Y, single or looking to become so. Hailed as the ‘straight’ Grindr – are Tinder, Fancied and Grouper all about one night stands or long-term love?

Dating through apps is just the thing for those with short attention spans, very short attention spans.

If hanging out with friends in bars or at parties or combing through online profiles is just all too tedious for you – a tap or a swipe of your phone could be just the thing between you and meeting your one, true love. Or, at least, your one ‘you-look-pretty-alright-for-tonight’ hook-up scenario.

Tinder

What’s it all about? Tinder links to your Facebook page and notifies you, via profile shots, based on your Facebook mutual friends and interests, who is single and looking for love nearby. You like what you see? Swipe right to the green heart to register your interest. Not floating your boat? Swipe left to the red cross to say ‘not in this lifetime.’ If you both give each other a ‘green heart’ light, a conversation via the app can begin.

Tinder is the fastest growing dating app. The company is reluctant to release figures but since Tinder launched in September last year, Forbes says users have rated each other’s profiles 3.5 billion times and have been matched up 35 million times.

According to Tinder’s Australian brand manager, Joshua Metz, the app is downloaded more than 1000 times a day in Australia alone.

Pros: The app saves you from potential romantic humiliation by letting you anonymously ‘like’ or ‘reject’ your nearby suiters/users. Only if they ‘like’ you too will Tinder make an introduction and you can start communicating via the app. You can’t be randomly messaged by people you don’t know or don’t want to know.

Got some down time waiting for the bus to arrive to meet up with friends? You could potentially line up a date (or several) for that night.

Cons: By trawling through your Facebook to look for folk nearby with mutual friends and interests, the chances of stumbling across your ex; your best friend’s ex or even your second cousin is more than likely.

Your picture – and their picture – is your only chance to make an impression. Dangerous territory for folk clinging desperately to a flattering snap taken 5 years ago, especially if you actually plan to meet up in real life, at some stage, there’s going to be that awkward 3 minutes of non-recognition.

What if you accidentally swipe ‘no thanks’ when you meant to ‘green heart’ someone? You’ll never get that person back on screen. Imagine, it could’ve been your one true love…

Good for: Wanting to broaden your social circle slightly in a comfortable, non threatening way.

Not so great for: Someone who desperately believes in soulmates and hopes they will magically appear in the palm of their hand via their phone. Whilst some will be more legitimately looking for love than others, the very nature of the app makes random hook-ups and bragging rights very easy. But if that’s what you’re looking for, good luck to you.

Fancied

What’s it all about? Fancied is an Australian-based dating app launched 4 weeks ago and already boasts thousands of ‘fancies’ nationally. Aimed at the 18-35 demographic, the app is gaining popularity with users sharing the app with friends via Facebook.

Founder and CEO of Fancied, Christie Sharpe explains, “We are thrilled with the results and have 60% engagement on the app, this is mainly because users are getting matched by people they mutually like.

Like Tinder, Fancied links to your Facebook page and offers up profile shots, names and ages of potential matches who are nearby and looking for love. You can either play the ‘fancy’ game and search profiles nearby or check into a venue listed as a ‘hot spot’ for singles ready to meet.

Again, like Tinder, liking or not liking someone is kept anonymous until two ‘likes’ become one.

Pros: Using the geo-location ‘hot spot’ allows the user to know where all the fun-loving singles are mingling close by and can join accordingly.

Cons: Like Tinder, by trawling mutual friends on Facebook, the chance of your ex, your best friend’s ex or your cousin is again, a dating possibility.

Good for: The ‘push-to-maps’ feature is great for users geographically challenged to find their way to the right bar to meet their match.

Not so great for: Similar to Tinder, those looking to find their soulmate may be in luck but also exposed to some of society’s not so romantic idealists.

Grouper

What’s it all about? Originally launched in New York as a three-on-three blind dating service, Grouper is a dating app available in 20 cities across the US that will soon launch in Australia.

You sign up for Grouper, pick a specific date and time or choose the on-demand feature, choose two wingmen/besties, pay an up front yet-to-be-determined fee per person for the date and the app automatically sets you up with three others of the opposite sex.

The fee paid pays for the first round of drinks and ensures everyone actually turns up. And then it flows (or not) from there.

Grouper Director of Operations, Kristen Badal, says “We’re launching in Australia in coming months so I encourage single Aussies to sign up at joingrouper.com to find out when and where we will be happening.”

Pros: Grouper sees itself more as an app for meeting people than a dating service. In the US, it is more popular with women and has a roughly 60/40 split between women and men members.

Expanding your social circle and going on a ‘blind date’ with two of your besties takes the intimidation and safety issues out of the blind date equation.

Cons: What’s the etiquette? Do the six of you interact as a group or do you make a beeline for your favourite and start to pair off?

What if no one wants to talk to you or you get left with the third party that wasn’t really ‘into’ the blind date in the first place?

Good for: Folk who need a concierge for their social life. Can’t think of a new bar to visit? Grouper can sort that, and the company you keep, out for you.

Not so great for: If you go on the ‘blind date’ with three friends with similar tastes in the opposite sex. Bestie biffo over a bloke at the end of the night is never a good look. It gets worse if only one of you gets an SMS asking for a second date. Oh dear.

Have you tried mobile phone dating? What are your favourite dating websites or apps?

Starting off with this one, which funnily enough wasn’t even chosen by me! A couple days after I was toying around with the idea of doing this Online Dating rating system, one of my friends from work sent me an invite to join Grouper.

I’d heard about grouper before…

Lemme step back.

I’ve been known to journal in the past and I just so happen to have written about this one app in particular before in regards to a crush using it. And since I think it’s pretty amusing and gives a little insight into me, let’s just go for it shall me.

*************

He soon divulged the he had a Grouper date in a few nights. This information probably should have freaked me out, but all I could think was HE IS SINGLE! I mean, here I’ve been going back and forth in my brain debating if he’s seeing someone… hooray! Not just single, but on the prowl!

At this point I couldn’t really think much more than HELLO, I AM RIGHT HERE! But wait… how am I supposed to read this whole thing? We are comfortable enough friends that the guy is willing to share this with me? OR does HE want me to know that HE is single?

***Later***

All I could think about… the only thing all day that wouldn’t leave my freaking mind was that tonight HE has this fucking Grouper date thing. HE’S PROBABLY ON IT RIGHT NOW!!!

Gah, I’m going crazy. I’m acting just like a freaking jealous girlfriend except I have absolutely zero claim to the guy and his actions. I even spent extra time this morning getting ready and looking amazing just so he would see what exactly he was missing in his life and that he clearly doesn’t need Grouper because I’M RIGHT HERE. (Admittedly this plan might have gone better if we’d had more than a two second conversation in the hallway that went something like-

Him: “What’s up?”
Me: “Nothing.”

Right before he went into a three hour meeting that ended just as my six hour meeting started, thus the complete lack of interaction. … le sigh.)

I can only hope our two-second interaction was enough. Or perhaps word of mouth of my immense hotness got around and he heard about it all day regardless. (Sarcasm if you can’t tell…)

The worst part is I can’t even ask him about it tomorrow. Not because I don’t have the balls to ask the question, but because I have no idea how to casually respond to his answer. Like what am I gonna say?

Me: “How’d the Grouper thing go?”
Him: “Aweful night. Worst. Date. Ever.”
Me: “YAY!!! *cough* Errr… I mean. That’s unfortunate?”

Him: “Best night of my life. I think I finally found THE ONE.”
Me: “DAMMIT!”

Yeah, that’ll go swimmingly… Ugh this is just a lost cause all around. Even if I try and play casual with one of the other guys on the Grouper and ask how their night went it’s not like their night is going to necessarily reflect HIS night.

GOD. THERE IS NO WINNING IN THIS SITUATION.

Not to mention this whole Grouper thing brings that nasty bitch, Reality, right to the forefront of all my internal conversations.

Reality: “Wait, so HE’s going on a Grouper date?”
Me: “Yeah, I guess. I mean it sucks, but at least I now know HE’s single and could potentially be interested in me.”
Reality: “ But then why is HE going on a Grouper? Why isn’t HE just asking you out now?”
Me: “Uhhh… Maybe he didn’t have the opportunity to do it before? Maybe our little ice cream outing two days ago completely shifted his opinion of me and now HE finds me irresistibly attractive. HA!”
Reality: “Then why didn’t HE ask you out sometime over the past two days?”
Me: “Because HE had this Grouper thing, obviously! HE’s probably waiting until after tonight.”
Reality: “So you’re the ‘next best thing’ if he doesn’t find something better tonight?”
Me: “SHUT UP, REALITY, YOU BITCH!!!”

So that happened. I sincerely hope I overthink this kind of thing WAY more than any guy does. What guy would ever think this much about what I might think of their actions, you know?

God I’m setting myself up to get hurt.

***And then***

Today I showed up at the office still a little worked up over the Grouper date thing. How could it possibly have gone? Luckily HE was able to answer that question for me as I overheard him talking to some friends on the stairwell. I didn’t really catch the conversation, but what I did hear made it pretty clear the evening was not a success. YES!

*************

All right, all right. That’s enough of Memory Lane for one post.

So… yeah. Slightly familiar with Grouper.

Slightly.

I knew going in that it had something to do with Facebook friends and going out to drinks with three girls and three guys in a group.

That much appears at least to be true.

So far I’m going to give the app a C- in the user-friendly category. The lack of instruction is driving me nuts. Very- fuck it, here you go, figure it out for yourself.

They MADE me set my phone to have the app running my location in the BG, which I am also not a fan of. In my confusion over agreeing to do that, I somehow messed up the “send a verification code to us to let us know you are a real person.” Now every time I open the app an error message pops up and then disappears? Super confusing but it appears to be working normally still.

The homepage is also not very user friendly or appealing. The first thing I see tells me to pay $15 and go on a Grouper. Slow your roll, Grouper. Let’s see if there are any cute, interesting guys on this thing first.

I spent the better part of the next 10 minutes trying to figure out how to change my profile pictures (warning- they are all set to square aspect ratio and you can’t adjust where it crops on a photo so I had to change out some of my cuter photos because they would have chopped off my head) and connect myself to my “wingwomen” the friends also on the app who I presume are my go-to’s for this 3 person date thing? Maybe?

I will give some props to Grouper for the info each user enters (even if it took me forever to figure out how to edit it) because it is very basic-

Age, high school and college you went to (presumably pulled from what you enter on FB and the only info you can’t actually edit) height, religion, ethnicity, gender, location AND in an interesting twist- Two truths and a lie.

Touché Grouper. A+ for user info! Arguably I’m not sure you need any other information beyond the above to decide to go out to drinks with someone. The two truths and a lie presented me with an interesting conundrum. It’s the only creative portion of information you can offer a potential match. So what to write? There was the obvious choice to make all three implausible statements that would be hard to choose between. Or the alternative to make the two truths unique and the lie absolutely ridiculous. I went with the latter choice only because I couldn’t sum up the creativity to think of two crazy enough truths. There is a 75 character limit on the answers so you have to get your personality across quick!

On to the profiles!

Grouper Dating App

Grouper uses a Tinder-esk model of swipe right, and you want to match with them. Swipe left, and it’s bye forever bro. There are of course pluses and minuses to this. I’m a bit of the- can’t I swipe down the middle and save it for later? Mindset. I mean, some guys look interesting-ish, but what if you reject them and then everyone else sucks and you wish you could get that so-so profile back! I suppose that’s why they force you to make the decision in the moment… no room for indecisiveness in the world of Online Dating.

There’s an icon at the bottom of the screen with a glowing orange number above it. Trying to figure out what that is. Mine says 27 right now. I *think* it’s the number of profiles I have yet to view. 27 is a pretty reasonable number. Low from what I would expect of a dating app, though I don’t know many people who use this one actively so seems about right.

And…. Now what?

Maybe if I had some freaking instructions I would know. If I match with someone does it force me to have a Grouper in-person meet? Is there any digital interaction first? Guess let’s start playing and accept and reject some boys to find out.

**********

Okay!

So interesting. Grouper allows you to go down a bit of a rabbit hole of profiles. Within each guy’s profile you can see the people they list as wingmen and you can actually click on those profiles and read them. And those wingmen might list different wingmen who list different wingmen… lordy. I was about to accept one such rabbit hole guy until I discovered he lives in New England.

Back to my original offered profiles now.

I just said no to a guy I am almost certain was a guy I was talking to on OKCupid nearly a year ago. Same name, looks the same, and also still Russian. Way to keep fighting the good fight, Alex! Hope you find love soon.

A note to boys on Grouper- Grouper offers you so little info to add about yourself that leaving it all blank just makes it seem like you don’t even care! I mean sure, don’t list everything if you don’t want to. I left my own religion blank for goodness sakes. But c’mon! PUT SOMETHING!

[No info… sigh. Kyle must think his abs speak for themselves]

Another note to boys on Grouper- Photos. Nearly every guy on here has either ALL group photos with them at a distance, or headshots. Add a little variety and some candid shots, fellas. And let me see your face! Side note- If every photo has you surrounded by groups of beautiful girls in it, I’m going to wonder what the hell is wrong with you that you aren’t dating one of them.

[This is your ONLY photo Jonathan! Which freaking one are you?! Connor, great work. Yeah there is a girl in the photo, but at least you are doing something fun and active and your arm isn’t around her…]

And I have officially swiped right AND… nothing happened. The anti-climatic moment of a boy not matching with me? Perhaps… who is to say with this confusing app.

On to more profiles!

One more note to boys on Grouper- Please just list your height. Why haven’t you listed your height!? I’m a tall girl with legs for days and while height wouldn’t be a deal breaker… okay, honestly it might if you’re under 5’5’’… as long as you are close to my height it wouldn’t be a factor. And if you’re taller than it’s a huge plus in your favor. So just list it. Not listing it makes me think you are leaving it off because you’re really short when the reality is maybe you’re just a little below average. And as an extension of this rule- don’t exaggerate your height. I’m not exaggerating mine and if you say you’re 5’9’’ and I walk in and you are two inches shorter than me then you, sir, are a liar.

The swiping system can be a challenge. I accidentally just rejected a guy because I thought I had clicked his photo, which opens his larger profile and lets me read whatever info he listed plus browse other photos, but instead of showing his next photo he is gone, baby, gone. Oh well, probably for the best.

Well, I’ve gone through all twenty-seven profiles. Said yes to three and still nothing. At the end of the list I was informed that my first Grouper, if it is within the first week of me downloading the app, is free (though my wingwomen still need to pay). Not a terrible perk. When you click it though it takes you back to the home screen… okay… so I click on “Go On A Grouper” and it takes me to a list of nights and times with small photos of guys… many of whom I think I swiped no to. What was the freaking point of the swipe left and right thing?!

Grouper Dating App Login

For the hell of it I selected a random day. All it does is take you to a booking page where you can enter a credit card. No ability to look at the profiles of the guys you are going to meet. Strange. Maybe it reveals that after you confirm the meet-up? Seems I can take any two wingwomen with me too. Doesn’t say anything about bringing the wingwoman I connected to on the app. So what was the point of that then?

SO MANY QUESTIONS GROUPER!!!

Alright I’m taking the back seat on this one. If my lovely wingwomen want to go out I’ll tag along, but not very high hopes for this one.

********

We have a match people!

Lordy, there you go. Three days in and the swiping left and right does actually do something!

“Joe” and I have matched. Sounds like true love to me.

Honestly I’ve been mostly checking Grouper when I’m bored to see what new profiles there are. They appear to only give you 15-20 a day, so in about 5 minutes I’m usually through them all. I’ve been swiping both left and right (though admittedly more left) without any sort of result so I was actually a little shocked when it informed me I had a match.

Well, fuck those other boys who aren’t interested because Joe and I are now going to spend the rest of our lives together in blissful happiness.

Of course, that sort of future would require actually meeting Joe. Hmmm… well, this puts a little more pressure on physically going on a Grouper. Can’t Joe schedule the Grouper and I’ll just be there with some lady friends? Speaking of… can he pay too? JK.

What to do, what to do? Sit and think on it I think. After all, there’s all the time in the world when you’re messing with your heart.

Overall Grouper- C+. Plus for profile simplicity, C for lack of clarity with pretty much everything else.

Grouper Dating App Free

And now just for fun two more perfect examples of what NOT to do-

Grouper Dating

[Greg, if these are the only options I have… then I know which lie I’m choosing.]

[Brandon, hon, is this your wedding photo? I have no words…]